So, you came!

Yes you, who followed my wisps of thoughts

wafting on the ethereal web.

Catching the strands of gossamer, infinite,

insubstantial, nearly invisible,


You reached.


I don’t know who you are.

I never knew you’d come.


I know you;

and i knew you’d come.


For destiny is not as inscrutable

as they’d like us to believe.

I know.

I’ve been writing mine

for such a long time.

It was I

who’d preordained

that we’d meet.

What’d I tell about myself?

You know.

That’s why you have come.


Home is where it all began.

Mayn’t end there though,

For the unfortunate exile:

Self-imposed, planned or accidental,

Home is far, unreachable,

His heaven, his hell.

The sun rises everyday over a large number of rivers. They all look beautiful reflecting the vermillion of the rising sun. One of the images above is of the sun rising over Gangaji in Kasi. What makes it so unique for me? Why do I write of Kasi only? Have I never been to any other place in my life? Have I never experienced any other city? Yes, I have been to some other places. I spent a couple of years in Dimapur, and then some more in Udaipur: both very beautiful and unique cities. I feel for them and miss them, and sometimes have an urge to visit those cities, especially the places where I used to live and work or used to visit regularly. Still, the urge has not overpowered me yet. These beautiful cities have not entered my existence so deeply as to become one with me. Banaras has. I have not always loved it. Neither have I always wanted to be there. Yet, I have always felt very strongly towards it.

I was born in Kasi and I grew up there. In any story of mine, there’ll be Kasi. In anything I write about Kasi, I will appear, sooner or later. That happens to be the case in many of my posts. My city is old. My city is new. It’s both at the same time and more. It has a palimpsest like quality, with one difference, all the layers of signs can be seen at the same time at some places.

I’m an exile working in various cities of India to survive. My heart is in Kasi. I borrow Zafar’s words to speak about myself:

Lagta Nahi Hai Dil Mera, Ujde Dayar Mein,        (My heart is not happy, in this barren city
Kiski Bani Hai Aalam-e-Napaidar Mein                  Who has ever felt fulfilled, in this mortal world)

Itna Hai Badnaseeb “Zafar” Dafn Ke Liye              (How ill-fated Zafar is! For his own burial
Do Gaz Zameen Bhi Na Mili                                          He couldn’t even get two yards of earth

Koo-e-Yaar Mein                                                              in land of the beloved.)


Dear Reader

The information about Kasi presented in the blog has mostly one source: my life in Kasi. It may not be 100% accurate. Whenever you find any kind of error: factual, syntactical or semantic, I request you to leave a comment on the page where the error is found.


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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

25 thoughts on “Home

  1. Rajnish if you keep on writing with this speed and intensity you will steal a march on me on my own feelings and expressions.

  2. Hello Rajnish. Nice to meet you. Thank you for visiting our blog and for the ‘like’ on my post about Varanasi. In case you’re interested there’s a second post about Varanasi, focusing on life on the Ganges here:
    http://alisonanddon.wordpress.com/2013/02/10/india-part-15-varanasi-the-holy-city-of-benares/ I hope you enjoy it.
    I’ve read a few of your posts and feel your deep love of your city. I hope you get to live there again someday.
    We only had six days there but it was enough for us to fall in love with it. It’s definitely at the top of the list of the most wonderful places we have visited, and my sister has already returned for a second visit.

  3. i never thought that your painting will look so gook on screen its looking really good and i like it , congrates. swasti

  4. Hi buddy.It’s Nice to read and have a feel of Kashi.But kindly give a touch of it’s founders and their importance for Kashi.More ever you know one thing?Ganges flows in opposite direction in Kashi.That’s one of the characterising feature.

    • Thanks for visiting, reading and leaving your feedback. For me, there’s only one direction in which my river flows: the direction in which it flows in Kasi. When has it existed anywhere that’s not Shivji’s Kasi?

  5. Quote the words of Bharat Ratna Ustad Bismillah Khan about Kashi.He was a great admirer of Kashi and a legend whom you cannot forget for Kashi.

    • Your comment about Ustadji is very true. Please forward me the exact words for I am not in possession of the same and oblige. I’ll definitely do a post based on your content, giving full credit to the ideator.

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