The air I breathe in, and space in all
Its dimensions; my waking thoughts
And dreams, you.
My fear of losing and continue living,
Day after day, year after year,
Not even shedding a single tear;
For that’s what I know I am –
Frightens me, it frightens me.
The question resurfaced.
From the depths of past, it came;
But it hadn’t gone anywhere.
My weakness that lay crouching
Pounced upon its prey at the
Moment of helpless vulnerability.
I wasn’t so weak before now.
I, who scoffed at those who
Allowed themselves to be drowned
By the emotion called love.
But now, going on the knees, for
One moment; leaving the guarded
Sophistry, my second nature;
I feel like begging; from a person
As powerless as I, to become
The air I breathe in, and congeal
Time right there, so that I don’t
Breathe out the air, conversely,
The air stays inside forever,
Killing me in the process,
Yet not leaving my body.
The question of intense passions
That make it easier to die for
A cause. You.
I’m not sure yet, for I love to live.
To live with you, how fulfilling,
And happy a state it would be!
Why do I feel I’ve sinned,
Against my own self, in not
Changing at all, even post-love?
Still loathe and avoid death.
Death, the recurrent theme,
Now intertwined with another,
You.
You overpower death, or, let me
Rephrase, fear to fear, losing you,
As a possibility, so engrossed me
That I forgot death for a while.
And now, I have you and death
In front of me. My thoughts run.
They run to hide in your protective lap.
To lie there, to sleep, fearless.
for death can’t reach there, you’ve told me
With your reassuring eyes. You’ve told me
That the fear of loss – of life, of love; is true.
But asked me to rest while you make
A womb like cover, round my
Psyche. Saving me from this ruthless
World, where I’ve walked, throat
Dry, ever on the move, always
With the fear that one sign,
Of weakness, and they’ll tear me
Apart and feed upon my corpse.
I hardened the cyst but the soft
Core of weakness, of truth; remained.
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rajnishmishravns 